Jebidiah Hellman, Lute for hire!

The following is an excerpt from the yet-to-be published memoires of Jebidiah Hellman, traveling minstral:

May 16, 2003- Spent the day in the park. My lute needed tuning and a quick polish after a gang of angry senior citizens attacked me with a case of Ensure shakes and Metamucil.

May 18, 2003- Another day of sunshine and blue skies. The scent of freshly cut grass was intoxicating. Or perhaps it was the pint of gin offered to me by the homeless guy in the alley. For some reason he said, "here you go pal. You need it more than me."

May 21, 2003- A gentleman came up to me today and said that I was "the best package he has seen in many a long year" and that I have an "amazingly large talent." It is wonderful to finally be recognized for my work.

May 22, 2003- The phrases "best package" and "large talent" come sharply into focus when the gentleman from yesterday showed up with a bottle of Dom Perignon and a pair of buttless chaps. I may need to rethink wearing my tights on cold mornings.